Note: For introduction of people in Carrier Clinic please read last post.
1.1 Events and Interactions at Carrier Clinic
Group therapy was a means to assess my mood and get info about how I think or approach a problem.
1.1.1 When doctor Islam and his team questioned me initially - I insisted on story and advised them to follow book. As my family in India was doing parallel investigation. I further narrated them in this case something happens to me, they should be rest assured an investigation agency will found it. Doctor Islam was also doctor of John.
1.2 When I started talking to all of them and have stopped showing unfriendly attitude towards any of them. A orchestrated game was played.
Rule was simple - everyone were given a piece of paper having name of another person, one had to suggest 3 gift one would like to give that person
and dedicate a song in his/her name.Chirs was given my name. He suggested some humiliating gifts to me. I laughed. And song "my way".Leo have also chosen
"My Way". I am not sure what was symbolic value as couldn't make out much out of it.
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank+sinatra/my+way_20056378.html [refer APPENDIX 10]
I couldn't get what they expected me to do.
1.3 - Paul attempted to enter room 107 [Room allocated to John and I] in between Saturday and Sunday night. As soon as I wake up he changed his path and quickly changed his slipper with that of John’s. I sensed it wrong as people are not supposed to enter into others room.
1.4 - Next day i.e Sunday was tense. In a group meeting Patric raised some concern that people are trying to steal Cigarettes of each other.[Oh! God, what conspiracy was that?]And he even had names but he preferred it not to be disclosed. No one offered me Cigarettes that day.
Around 3.00 PM group meeting, people were given task to write their positive. And what they wish to change or things that were different. It was Paul
and one more guy said they couldn't find enough positive things. Then many people helped Paul finding his positive.[They already knew him] Leo, was very apologetic that situation in his life put him to a situation where he wanted to commit suicide.[a possible hint which helped me in evening]
When my turn came, It went like this,
- Disclaimer : As per Indian philosophers Swami Vivekanand. There are three aspects of any human being. What a person think about himself. What other
people think about that person. what actually that person is. Hence, actual data may vary :-)
- Now three positives
- I always think there is a solution for every problem. I don't have solution always ready for all problems. But I try to find one.
- I treat all human beings with same respect. Hence, I am courteous to all of them in first communication. However, as in any relation, as relationship develops, impression of person makes a difference.
No one was expecting such a dominant answer. Total silence dropped in room for a few moments.Soon after that, group meeting was absolved [not everyone got opportunity to speak].
In evening dinner,there was feel of visible unease in dining room. By that time, whoever has asked me why I was there, I had replied I am still working with doctor to understand why I was there. Mr Upendra and family were suppose to visit on Sunday, they didn't come.
Also to narrate, one of the day, I was wearing hospital dress.[I had only a short and a t-shirt in which cops has handcuffed me.]. Indoor game of volleyball was planned. The instructor insisted that upper dress is too loose to play vollyball.She offered me a t-short. I replied it seems a girl's t-shirt. She replied its open in front but equally good for both sexes. During volleyball, she said she would like
to talk to me. Which she later did. Besides other question, she wanted to know if I had any symptom of suicide. I replied in negative with same
quote "I am very positive person, I always believe there is a solution of every problem which I need to find it out.".
I sensed a possible conspiracy there. There were at least two girls with the group as well. With suicide question being asked so many time
and Leo’s indication of suicide in Sunday afternoon.And everyone was trying to help Paul to find his positives. It was alarming sign for me as circumstances of hospitalization was questionable.
In afternoon 3 pm group meeting on Sunday, so many people were trying to find positive in Paul [they knew Paul!!]. It was clear, Paul's possible attempt a
night earlier was being covered. In evening before sleep, I reported at nurse desk about Paul's Saturday night's activity. I forgot name of the lady. She laughed and asked if I was anxious. I replied, whatever you would like to note feel free to do so, I am not anxious but cautious instead. Possibly there was plan of murder on pretext of suicide for reported bad act with one of the girls or guilt because of theft of cigarette. [I realized, I did already wear girls T-shirt for Vollyball game, it was possible they might have other plan. Something was wrong].
As night started, I pretended to be sleep. Every hour or so the guy or lady in duty were entering the Room. Around midnight someone entered very deep. I just for second sat on bed. And asked "who is that?". The guy replied I am just checking if everything is right. John who was pretending [Kharata] to be in deep sleep also wake up.After the guy left, I asked John if he would like to talk. He replied in negative.
Night continued with many more so called regular visit by hospital guys.
1.6 In morning around 6.0 AM ,I was looking for someone to talk who have authority in this group.John was still sleeping. I found Bill in TV room. As he had mentioned before spreading bird flu as cause of hospitalization, I talked with him. Would recollect the conversation later [TO DO]
1.7 A COMPROMISE WITH CONSPIRATORS - John wake up around 8.00 AM.He used to wake up early.I again proposed, John - I think we should talk. This time he agreeded.
I shut the door of room 107 from inside. A brief and quick agreement was reached. Conversation proceeded like this.I said something along the line
"John, when I was brought to this facility I had a notion that you would like to talk. But instead unfortunately, I don't know why it gone this way, where last night no one had slept here.
If I wanted to report it to FBI, I could have done it on day one. I know you people are powerful. While I was spreading the word,I knew I would attract you people's attention. I knew you would take me to some place. Now I am here, I want a guarantee
- Me or my family will be not touched anymore and in return I will keep my mouth shut. Now give me a deal and get me out of here"
John replied - "You are a nice guy and I believe your father and brother both are nice person as well. Nothing will happen to your family. But I can't do anything regarding hospitalization."
But he concluded with threatening remarks - I think you need ELT [shock therapy].
I replied "Please spare me."
1.8 Cool, Calm and Better Day - Monday July 3th 2006?? - Soon after discussion with John,John went to talk with one of the girl and I think Andrew. Possibly more discussions were done. A relaxation session was conducted by Ben after the compromise. I requested doctor's appointment same day.
Later same day, I met Doctor Islam. He asked questions like how are you feeling and how was last night sleep? He was for sure aware of positive developments.
I replied something along the lines in Hindi - "I am relaxed now. As such no one slept last night. Today there was a compromise with John. I will be leaving for India shortly"
Earlier he did enquire about notifying the hospitalization to company. I replied in negative. That day he also asked me about my marriage plans. He further suggested finding a girl in USA. He was persuading me continue work with Evident Software and get married there itself.
I also asked Dr Islam, "As compromised is being reached now, what I would say if someone ask about cause of hospitalization?"
He replied "Anxiety attack"
1.9 Discharge – Later on 3rd July itself, one of nurse[probably Elizabeth] informed me about my date of discharge. she asked me if I want a friend or
family member to pick me up on 5th July. She looked into one of the admission papers where Company name was Evident Software and relative name was Siddharth Varma. [and not Upendra this is important as Cops told me it was Upendra who informed them also the name should have been Siddharth Kumar and not Varma]
I replied Please call Sugiti/Upendra. If they want to pick me up its okay else get me a cab. After talking with Mr Upendra she informed he would visit around 6:30 pm on 5th of July.Total 6 discharge happened that day.Including John, Andrew-2, Mike, James. I forgot 2 other names.On 5th a few hour before discharge I was asked to sign a few documents by hospital staff. All had DOB 7/28/1974.I made correction of DOB in most of the document and signed it. Later on same day
Bob made a comment to tease me, he told something along the lines that his hospitalization was paid hence free. I just smiled. I did sign a paper with words “I refuse to pay any amount not paid by insurance”.
1.10 July 4th - It was Independence Day of America, I mostly spent time in TV room. Bob was there most of the time.
1.11 Earlier after verbal agreement with John, I requested him to provide some sort of communication info, where in case of any confusion I can contact. I further argued that such mode will eliminate any need to make Carrier Clinic like facility as meeting point. I again suggested this on 4th. John replied he would provide a phone number.
On 5th, Bob provided a name and phone number on pretext Cigarettes due. When I asked his name and address where money could be sent for cigarettes he had provided. I told him I would send him a check.
Bob asked me to call the number and take his address. Details provided by Bob
John F Samnell
MR. Ken Kolanu
Soon he informed I don’t need to send the check. Just to show, I like to
Keep my words, I gave him 10$ after borrowing it from Mr Upendra,
Who came in evening to pick me up. Before I left, I also met Leo and Bill. Leo said
Some nice words. Bill was accompanied by his son Bill and his wife. Bill’s son gave
Me phone number of Bill’s secretary. [PROVIDE DATA]
and informed him that I would call later. Mr Upendra started the both the AC and cleaned some garbage. I threw garbage and milk. Before he left,Mr. Upendra instructed to keep both AC running. Since last year, I had bought a blower which I had used instead of AC. I did chose to stop the AC and just used the blower.
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.
Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!